"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, but I think I'll miss this one this year. As a lovely gift, my parents got me a free 10 day membership to the gym. Ughhhhhhhhhh DO NOT WANT!

Where are you now?

Top Ten Weird Things That Happened This Morning

1. I woke up at 5 am with no problem, although waking up at 7:30, 9, 10, 11, or any other time of the day seems impossible
2. Opie and Anthony were on the radio at that hour
3. Holly did not wake up
4. Stepped on a binder, where the ring is, which punched a hole in the plastic, which pierced my heel, all while the binder is sliding on the floor, causing me to crash into the fridge and fall on my butt.
5. Holly still has not woken up
6. Head down to the lounge where I find people who have not slept yet.
7. Almost miss my 8 am exam because I forget that after 7am is 8am, not 7am again
8. I slip on black ice on the curb across the street from my exam
9. Manage to show up 10 minutes before my prof, even though I get to the room at 7:59
10. Finished the exam in only an hour, even though I sat and bullshitted for 30 minutes.

Oh and one last thing that does fit on this list because it was so bizarre.
At 5:30am I got a text from a random number that had a West Mass. area code that said:
"Hey this is Caitlin this is my new cell number! Sorry its so late at night I can't sleep"
To which I replied:
"Who is this?"
"Caitlin lol Her Last Name"
"Sorry, I don't know you"
"This is not Mark?"
"Nope you are pretty far off with Mark"
"Oh god sorry! Got the number wrong Sorry about the time and all too"
"That's okay, I was up. Good luck finding Mark"
5 minutes goes by
"Fuck I bet he gave me the wrong number brit i feel so dumb! And made an idiot of my self to some random person!"
"Its not brit, still me"
"Wow I sent that to you haha god sorry now i am a retard! Sorry promise no more from me lol"

So far she's kept her promise. But what are the chances she has the same first name as me, and spells it the same way....

KLJFoijfsoierumfrjk

OH MY GOD YOU DUMB BUMBLE FUCK! YOU'RE FRIEND DID NOT COME UP WITH THAT SAYING! YOU MESS WITH THE BULL, YOU GET THE HORNS IS FROM THE BREAKFAST CLUB! GO RENT IT YOU MORON AND APPRECIATE THE CLASSICS!

Sorry, someone quoted that line on Facebook and it pisses me off when people think their friends are geniuses for coming up with that line. Gwjfksejfoiearjtf fuck!

Smoke the marajuana, sail the sea of sin...

Top Ten Reasons I Should Not Run In Tomorrow's 5k

1. I haven't worked out in weeks
2. I haven't run in months
3. I've got a stomach virus, fever, and possible throat infection
4. I hate running
5. Its supposed to be 34 degrees out tomorrow
6. I have to wake up at 7am
7. Finals start and I should be studying
8. I can't run, even when I'm in shape
9. I might throw up on the way to the race, forget the actual race its self
10. Did I mention I hate running?

Top 5 Reasons to Run

1. Its for Toys For Tots
2. Its only a 5k, I've run much further
3. The runners' high
4. I'm doing something good for my body and for someone else
5. Kate would kill me if I ditched her
   

I love that thing you doooooo.

I'm sick as hell. I hate it. I almost threw up on friends to day, but if its any consolation I can run away fairly fast.

I'm President of MEXICO, Managing Extraneous Involvement for CAP's Organization. Whoot!

Everythings gonna be alright....

GO SEE PSYCHO BEACH PARTY IN SCOTT HALL 135!!!

WHY?!?!?!

1. JMike in drag
2. Shaved heads (and other things)
3. Guy on Guy action
4. Dancing
5. Sun, Sand, and Surf in December!!!

Yipppy!!!

I'm sick of feeling like I've lost this fight...

I am sick and tired of the bullshit. So in honor of that, here is my list of things to do instead of listening and dealing with the bullshit.

1. Concentrating on my grades, because we all know I need help there
2. Take up a hobby, like knitting or entomology
3. Find what makes me happy
4. Write the next great American novel
5. Finish the stack of books that try to be the next great American novel
6. Become a better cook
7. Become a better person
8. Travel the world
9. Get a job so I can not be poor
10. Sleep a full 8 hours a night
    

I can't help...

For the first time I wrote in a "diary". And by diary, I mean my yellow legal pad. I wrote down everything I wanted to say about this weekends debacle. I've re-typed it in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm talking about...

I like you, there's no way around it. From the moment I saw you across the crowded room, I knew you were perfect. It was a scene from a movie, a terrible romantic comedy where I have to go through all the ups and downs of your relationships without the benefit of being in one. I'll never complain and never wish you anything but happiness, even if it is not with me. Because all I can do is hope that you'll eventually see the light and choose me.

I know I like dancing with you

Dear Brain,
Stop staying up til 4am. He doesn't like you. All he wants to do is talk about his broken heart and your friend.

Love,
Your exhausted body

The choir is a singing

Top Ten Things That Rock About Thanksgiving
10. Football, 'nuff said
9. Deliciously, glorious food in abundance
8. Its chilly but not too chilly out to go have some fun before dinner is served
7. The post fest nap is sometimes the best sleep I get all week
6. It is almost Christmas time!
5. I get to sleep in
4. No classes for a few days
3. I get to see my doggies, the whole herd of em
2. Pumpkin Pie
1. The Rockettes, my dream job....

Fight the Power

Top Ten Reasons Kerry Should Live With Me Next Year
10. I called dibs on 220, the awesome room
9. It would force me to actually clean my room. The last frontier on the organization front.
8. I don't like sketchy guys in the room either.
7. I adore Britney Spears as much as she does, possibly even more.
6. I thoroughly approve pink and flowers everywhere in the room.
5. I can sew her as many pillows as she wishes.
4. I make a mean breakfast spread.
3. We stay up all hours of the night any way.
2. The room has already been redecorated with our imaginations anyway.
1. We'd be awesome roommates who would never have a problem.

Runnin, Runnin, Runnin, Runnin

Top Ten Reasons Not To Live In Close Proximity To Your Crush

1. You lose allure once he's seen you fresh outta bed in boxers and morning breath
2. All of his flaws and your flaws are easier to see
   
3. Too much opportunity for spazzyness
4. Wouldn't you get sick of seeing him all them time? Half the fun is running into him at random times
5. Awkwardly trying to hide your blush in front of friends
6. The constant need to be in flirt mode is exhausting
7. Its too hard to make a top ten because all of the aforementioned reasons rock as is
   

Little less conversation, a little more action...

Lecture classes are pretty pointless, the whole sitting in a giant room and having someone talk at you is not really a appealing or helpful. The class I'm sitting in now is the worst, the kind where the prof encourages you to ask questions, and then demeans you for asking. I feel like skipping the class often is a waste of tuition, so instead I do other things during the class, I consider it multitasking. In honor of that, I've decided today's list will be about the top things I do in class.

1. Check my fantasy hockey teams. I'm slightly obsessed with it since I play against my biggest rivals, my brother and father. The only problem with doing this is the cursing I wish I could be doing if my team is floundering.

2. Browsing What Would Tyler Durden Do and The Superficial. Slightly less addicting is the celebrity gossip pages that I'll check every few hours to see what's going on in the world of plastic and gold.

3. Picking classes. Its almost time to schedule them, and I still have no idea what I want to take, so I spend hours browsing the web pages.

4. Filling in the lyrics for my iPod. I just realized that my iTouch (yeah I know its really the iPod Touch, but mine is a music pedophile, deal with it) has a neat feature that lets you scroll through the lyrics as you listen to the song without looking em up online. So a few thousand songs takes a while to look up.

5. Texting. This is quite possibly my favorite activity, and obviously its not limited to class, but it is a fun thing to do during class.

6. StumbleUpon is an evil and addicting button that frequently causes me to stiffle giggles.

So yeah its a Top Six list, but its my damn list and I get to pick the rules!

Now that the night is over, And the sun comes like a god

This format of the blog is getting boring. Random stories are alright, but I feel like every other blog has the same witty (or unwitty) stories of trying to survive family, friends, and classes. I was thinking that new format should be random Top Tens, or Fives, or Thirties, or whatever I feel like at that moment. If I can't think of anything, then I'll just write a story or tell a joke or whatever.

As my first Top List, I've decided on...
TOP FIVE BLOGS (NOT WRITTEN BY MY FRIENDS)
1. The Lady's Trim by Nick Gaudio (now under the pseudonym NG Hatfield because he keeps getting in trouble) It is a retired blog, but some of his earlier stuff is hilarious. Later on it get's a bit odd, but still really amazing.
2. RangerLand What a surprise, number two on the list is a hockey blog, on none other than the Rangers.
3. MattGunn.ca Once again a retired blog, but still awesome, all about Canada and hockey.
4. The Panda Page I'm not sure if this is a blog or just a website, but its awesomely racisit.
5. These Go To Eleven Its not updated regularly but when it is, there's some pretty crazy stuff. Basically I fell in love with it because one of the authors called The Beatles overrated. <3

I haven't gone to bed yet, my body aches, my mind is racing, and my eyes are killing me.

You ever forget who you're friends with on Facebook? I mean its never happened to me before but I look at people who have 634342 friends, and I gotta wonder how many of them are actually your friend? What I love is how I met people. I don't like clicking the standard boxes, I usually go for the Other box and type out the story. When I go back there's an amusing little story next to it. There was one amusing story I could go without, it was a friendship that started out amazing and only ended in hurt. Long story short, some guy used me, his best friend told me what was up after a few weeks and now that guy and I no longer talk. But for the longest time I was able to forget how much that friendship meant to me, until I read my Facebook story.

Sadly I am bored with Elections. I was bored half way through Tuesday, the media kinda killed it with a two year hype period.

For the first time in a long time, I'm happy I'm single. I kinda like it. Its an odd feeling.

I wish it wasn't November.

I'm going to the MoMa this weekend for the first time. I'm sad to say that I live so friggin close to NYC, but I never really take trips in. Honestly, the city to me is a place to go see hockey. Wheeeee hockey!!

I'm sad to say that I'm super psyched that Marty Brodeur is out for so many months, that news was up there with Tom Brady and Tony Homo's injuries.

I just found 4 cheerios in my bra!

Is going to sleep even worth it at this point? I should really just get up and shower and start my day and just go to bed redic early later.

I wish it wasn't November

So good night good night....

I am not a people person. I should not be around people. I can't deal with them. They drive me insane and I don't want to be around them. I should just sit in a corner and not speak. I just want to disappear into a wall so I don't have to deal with them.

This life is more than ordinary....

Well, I had about 700 things I wanted to write about, and now I can't remember a single one. Tonight is the opening night of Comic Relief XX, but everyone who reads this already knows that. I can't wait to see it, I love CAP shows so much.
Until then I'm chillin in Leupp's kitchen, dying Cathleen's gloves and my shirts for Halloween next week. Cathleen needs yellow gloves so I'm sitting her watching the gloves go from white to piss yellow in boiling hot water. RIT is amazing stuff to say the least.
I really don't like people who get drunk on a Wednesday night at like 8:30 and then take the EE to George Street. Its kinda stupid honestly. Why? What's on George Street at 8:30 on a Wednesday night? Sure the Stress Factory is there, but that's something I want to get drunk at, not show up 4 shots deep.
Figuring out classes for spring semester is stressful. I don't know what to pick or minor in or if I should double major or change my major or just drop out of school and forget the whole damn thing. And of course they are released right in the middle of my midterms. So today is the first shot I had at looking at em. DKLFJls;iFJ

But I helped him drink his wine....

So today was my first day of work as a referee for intramural basketball out on Cook/Douglass. There's really no simple way to say this, but every single one of those guys have such a little man complex, its redic. Since I was new to reffing they stuck me on clock so I could watch how the refs made different calls and got a feel for intramural rules versus NBA and regulation rules. The first game was a train wreck. I forgot to mark 3 baskets for each team, so they had the proper amount of points between each other, just minus 6 points a piece. Then later on in that game, I lost power on the clock. We were scrambling to figure out what the score was and how much time was left, and the whole time I was kicking my self because I thought I was responsible for screwing up the clock. Finally this really really hot ref told me to relax because one of the players was throwing a fit in the corner and kicked the wire out and it wasn't my fault. After that embarrassing moment things went more smoothly until one of the other Student Directors walked over to talk to me. He chooses right in the middle of the game to introduce himself and to start flirting. WTF MAN?! First off your ugly to no end, secondly you know I'm trying to do my job, stop flirting!!!!! He finally gets the hint that its pointless, and moves on to another girl who was setting up for Handball later at night. She's dragging tables and chairs around and he's all Hey babe, what's up? Ugh you are so dense! But there were some funny moments. This one team refused to let me know when they wanted subs and were just exchanging players when ever, and I kept telling them check in with me first. After the 4th or 5th time I finally stood up and told them to check in with me first. Their faces were priceless. I try hard not to use my size as an intimidation factor if I can avoid it, but they were no taller than 5'5" and freaked out when they realized they didn't want to mess with me. (I'm slowly realizing this is one giant paragraph, so sorry) That was my first day at work, what a crazy experience.

Cause I'm having a good time...

Who reads the emails from Dean McCormick? I feel bad that I delete his emails like the rest of my spam, yet get super excited when Sephora sends me another coupon that will send me further into debt.

I comb the crowd and pick you out...

I have a job. Finally after weeks of stalling the process, and praying I don't overdraw my account, I went out and found a job. Its kinda awesome actually. I get paid next to nothing, but its more that what I make now just sitting on my butt. I get to shlep out to Cook/Douglass Rec Center a few times a week (I haven't gotten a schedule yet) to ref the "small fry" intramural basketball games. Basically I stand around a watch a buncha guys under 6' play basketball and I get to yell at them when they do something wrong. Funny thing, it has been about 10 years since I've played or watched basketball. I'm assuming not much has changed, but still a bit nerve wracking. The nerd that I am actually made flash cards of different calls and their hand jestures.

Oh goodness I can't wait!!!

You're an mean one, Mr. Grinch....

He likes the wrong one, there's two of us and of course it happened again. Last year the one guy that I truly liked was willing to hook up with any other girl that would give him the time of day, even though he kept feeding me the line, "I have a girlfriend. I love her. I would never cheat on her or break up with her." Yeah way to go asshole. Now its repeating again, I truly like a guy and he wants anything else but me. Sure, I'm know for constantly liking someone, but that's it. They're just crushes. If given the opportunity to take it further, I would have balked at the idea. But when I really do like a guy, he's an ass. FUCK THIS SHIT! I'm tired of being someone who wouldn't be touched with a "nine and a half foot pole".

I watched my first non-preseason hockey game today. Gosh I'm so excited for the season to finally be in swing.


Rangers FTW!

Oh so mad!

• So LSU lost to Oregon State, though most of you who read this have no idea what I'm talking about.
• Next weekend the Rangers season starts up. I'm so giddy I might just do a dance.
• My professor thinks that Batman didn't exist before Adam West.
• I'm hoping Cassie fixes my hair tonight before she goes home. Everytime I look in the mirror I giggle.
• Staying up late is getting old, quickly
• I've never seen an episode reality tv, and she's lecturing about reality tv.
• Its raining out, I love dancing around in the puddles
• Why doesn't my professor just type up the notes and project them instead of writing them out on the board

Did you ever have a day where certain words or phrases make you want to sing? Someone said, "Work sucks" and I had the urge to sing "All the Small Things" by Blink-182. Its quite silly when the phrases are ridiculous, someone mentions a brownie and I'll start humming "Eat the brownie, eat the brownie!" The worst one is when someone says a phrase that reminds me of a shitty Avril Lasagna or Britney Spears.
Lecture is boring me, can you tell? As I was typing that last sentence, I spelled tell teel. Which reminds me of the pain Rutgers football puts me through. The second hockey season starts, Rutgers will go on the back burner. At least the Giants are going strong (fingers crossed Manning doesn't poo his pants) for their first 3 games.
I wish I showered before class, I feel gross.

Wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring...

What event is the most important in the development in mass media...
- Vietnam and the coverage of war in television?
- The American Revolution and the newspaper?
- The revival of the R-rated comedy?
Does anyone actually care? I mean as long as the masses get their information, isn't that all that matters?

Where do all the porn stars go, when the lights go down?

Ughhhhhhhhhhh. Guys are stupid. My hair is orange. I need more sleep.
Night

I can see clearly now the rain is gone....

Ughhhhhhh I hate working out. The results are worth it. People still call me fat, I'm still unhappy with my image, and I end up killing myself and then throwing up my dinner (and tonight was King Neptune Night!). I don't know why I do it. Wait, that's a lie, I do know why. For the purpose of vanity. I don't want to be like those 4 girls sitting by me at dinner tonight. I'm sure they were lovely girls, but I bet very few people were looking at these girls as anything more than overweight freaks. I don't want to be that. It'd be a lot simpler if people weren't so worried about outward appearance, but I guess that's the world we live in. Fat is bad and thin is in.



Fuck this shit!

I can see through you, see your true colors

How do you politely turn someone down for a date? God that was so weird last night. He wasn't even creepy, I just couldn't go out with him. The biggest reason? I already had plans. A secondary reason? I don't really like him. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Am I more than you bargined for yet?

I've decided to write today because my roommate has decided that I should be on bed rest for a fever. Its friggin 83 degrees out and I have a fever. The only problem is, I have nothing to write about. My professors are wacky, my friends are entertaining, my temper is maddening, and football season is in full swing. At this point I just hope for some really awesome fever dreams.

Cause everything looks good on you

Yesterday at 8:20am, right after roll call the professor decides to launch into a discussion about birth control, something totally unexpected. I should have expected it, since the class is about children, but still shocking none the less. I was still a bit groggy, but from what I understand, she wanted us to go out and have lots of sex and to repopulate Earth. A bit scary since the professor looks like my grandmother. Bleh.

Since I've got a bit of a food baby growing, I started working out, again. It totally sucks, but I think I've found the secret to making it some what bare able. RuPaul. Something about her (or his?) voice makes hitting the stairs somewhat tolerable. :-)

Any way you want it that's the way you need it....

So the same thing happened last year, I went off to school and I forgot to write. I blame it on the fact that I stupidly signed up for 4 8:10's this semester and I am NOT a morning person.

I've already written myself a reminder to blog more often.


Sleeep

On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational!

This is what my brain looked like at work, minus the lolcat stuff....

What hurts the most....

I'm sorry about those past few posts (minus that last one). Ever since I got off the boat I've been having a hard time adjusting back to reality. Its not that I floated off to Never Never Land, but its more that I realized I never got over Andy. I can't forget Andy, and most of you reading this have no idea who Andy is and that's fine. I really don't feel like sharing that. He has some distant relation to the ship, but the ship brought him back into my life again. I didn't see him, I haven't seen him in about 18 months, but it still hurts. And I wasn't expecting the hurt, it knocked the wind out of me and I haven't fully recovered. I don't know when I will, but I promise no more writing about how much I hurt. That's what my journal is for.

All I want is a room somewhere...

Okay total hypothetical question, but just curious to see what everyone says....


You're going on a roadtrip to Nebraska because you suddenly had this urge to be there (yeah I really can't think of a good reason to go to Nebraska). But you don't want to go alone, so which three people do you bring? You can't bring family or friends. You can only bring fictional characters, doesn't matter if they are literary, television, movie, video game, or otherwise. Please share?

What's left of me....

Maybe I am better off being on land, far away from you. I will go back, it more of a home to me than Rutgers, and its beginning to edge out my house...

Because the will never take me alive....






“Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make anarchy and disorder your trademarks. Cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don’t let them take you ALIVE.”
-Sid Vicious

A hotter kiss a better f!&$%

Another day... another train wreck

How long til I can't do this any more?

Hold me down...

Never have the lyrics "I'm six feet from the edge..." apply to me so much as they do now.

It hurts, it really hurts, and its just going to get worse...

Kid Rock killed music

I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds, its getting harder every day.

Will you bite the hand that feeds?

At least this time the après projectile vomit was kept to a minimum.....

One Night In the Name Of Love...

The whole room is spinning. I've been off the ship for almost 20 hours and I'm a wreck. More when I can pull myself together...

I'm sailing away...

So its not my birthday, but I needed to vent. My role in friendships has always been the supporter. If you ever needed a shoulder, a hug, a cheerleader, a confidant, anything, I always try to be there. Sometimes its out of my hands, but when I'm needed, I try to be there.

Lately, however, I've found many of my relationships to be one sided. There's no reciprocation, its like I'm only good for a hug and a Good Luck wish when needed. I'm fairly certain that's not a friendship. I remember biology and environment class saying that is a -/+ relationship or a parasite relationship. Whatever it's called, good for you, bad for me.

I've already confronted one "friend" with this tidbit of information and it was returned with nothing (its a long distance friendship and most of it is based off of phone calls, texts, and email). Since Easter, nothing but one text that said Sorry, the girlfriend that I just dumped was a crazy control freak. Well if you dumped her, what happened to our friendship?

I'm scared to say something to others, I mean obviously I have my friends who have a functioning relationship with me, but what about the others? Is it worth the kiss off or do I just shrug it off and deal with it another day?

I hate having dead weight, and that is what these friendships could turn into. But I feel if I start cutting ties, I'm ditching people for reasons they could not control. I guess the best thing to do is wait for school to resume. See what life brings then...

And the sign says "long hair freaky people need not apply" ...

Taking a wee break from the blog. I'll be back around my birthday, hopefully.

I really hate Radiohead....

So I finally got a new laptop. Hopefully this one won't start melting to my desk like the last one did! Its little and shiny and white! I'm thinking of enrolling it into the KKK. (Oh goodness, I hope everyone gets that it is a joke...)


Wheeeeee!!!! Only a few more days til the weekend. It can't come fast enough...

It will run for 50 years!

The end of the 1800's and beginning of the 1900's had bohemians, creative souls, and absinthe.
The end of the 1900's and beginning of the 2000's had terrorist, death, and the Y2K bug.


That doesn't seem just.

Well back to Moulin Rouge!

Now you're calling me up on the phone....

So I was driving home from somewhere today, I really can't remember where, and the sun was setting behind me. And for some reason I wasn't looking at the cars in front of me, rather, I was looking at the road. My crazy mind thought that the shadow my car cast looked like Shrek the ogre....

I think I'm going to call my phone Fiona...

M I C K E Y M O U S E

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Work is soul sucking, even though it was tons of fun tonight. I have fun, and then I learn a bit more about the office and the "wonderful" people I work with.

Ms Oh My God That Britney's Shameless

Earlier this evening, Jeff and I were discussing music. It started out as an argument about classic rock and slowly evolved into a discussion about music we listen to in our childhood. The top 3 artists that I can remember from my childhood were
1. Bruce Springsteen
2. Joan Jett
3. Nirvana

He informed me that my list was very random, but that was my childhood, a blue collar, Jersey bred rocker, a crazy little lesbian runaway, and a trio of boys that replaced hair metal. But the point of this post is not this music, its about the music that came after this period.

As I stated in a previous post, I was never into boy bands. I kinda missed that ship thanks to dance, but I did manage to jump on a different musical band wagon. The enigma known as Miss Britney Spears.

I dreamed of being like her, confident, self assured, and a kick ass performer. I followed her through the years, from school hall Lolita to red leather clad vixen to her flesh tone body suit with strategically place crystals. Britney was always crazy, but it worked for her. You never knew what she was going to do next.

It was disappointing when she hit rock bottom, but I now have faith in her return. I've seen her guest spots on How I Met Your Mother, and while she is not really acting, she can properly deliver a joke. After seeing these episodes, I googled her to see what would come up. Around 7 months ago, she released a music video, according to YouTube. So I'm a bit behind, I thought the video was awesome.
Check it out, unless, you know, you've already seen it because you're actively apart of a world outside of hockey and football highlights...

I hope that the pop princess can return to her throne, because I really do miss the old, slightly crazy Britney

Stop me at the boarders I've got visas in my name....

Lack of ambition is on par with puppy killing. There is no excuse for it. Lofty ideas are not needed, just a general sense of wanting to reach a better point is ambitious enough. Please have dreams and hopes, goals and visions, nothing is worse than a wasted life without ambition.

Say it ain't so I will not go, Turn the lights off, Cary me home...

Wow, so about 4 years ago I met this guy on vacation. He was just someone to hang out with and it was fun. For about 6 months we exchanged emails and what not. But as it goes, we lost touch, high school slowly took over our lives and we went our separate ways. Flash forward to 2pm today, some lady walks into the office and as I'm entering her information I see that his name is on the membership. So we get to talking and sure enough its his mother! Not only that, but he just finished his freshman year at Rutgers! WTF? I haven't talked to this guy in years and now all of a sudden this starts happening. Oddly enough, last summer I worked with his old english teacher... Clearly we are meant to still talk...


Wheeeeeeeeee! I love making friends with people I'm already friends with!!

I'll get over you I know I will...

I've found Mr. Darcy.

Welcome to the jungle...

Yay! I've finally done it, post 99! Its taken me over a year but now that the ball is rolling, there's no reason to stop now. Normally 100 is the celebration point, but since I'm a hockey fan 99 holds a special place in my heart.


I don't really have much to say, its forever in a half until hockey season starts, same with football. Not talking about work, or The Dark Knight. The weather sucks, so I haven't been out side much, life is still sleep, work, sleep.

This is such an uneventful landmark post. Maybe the next one will be better...

There goes my hero, watch him as he goes...

Baseball is stupid. Honestly, I don't know why I watch it. People say that golf is a good walk spoiled, well baseball is a good game of catch spoiled. I try so very hard to watch it, but I end up getting aggravated. God, when will hockey and football start again?!

So, thanks to all my friends, I have quite a bit of music to listen to, but me, never being happy with what she has continued to ask people for more recommendations. I asked the cute boy at work what genres/bands he listens to most frequently. I didn't want to know his favorites, just most often heard through his speakers. He listed 3 or 4 genres and about 8 bands, and you know what? Not a single one of them surprised me. Its not like he's a stereotype, but I could totally see him listening to any one of the bands he said. Then I started to think about other bands people had listed for me. No surprises with Jon's list, or Sam's, or Matt's, or Kayla's, the only surprise was Holly, and that's because I just recently met her. But I started to wonder (yeah, yeah first I'm thinking now I'm wonder, I need to work on my writing skills a bit), how predictable are we. If I were to write down some of my favorite bands, would anyone be surprised? How correct or incorrect was Rob Gordon when he judged friends and girlfriends on their taste in music? Do our choices in music reflect our personalities or do our personalities reflect our choices in music? Or are they two totally separate things and I'm just going crazy?

I'm goin' hungry

So apparently its an awesome new thing for women in Europe to sun bathe nude. Okay, so I know the concept isn't new, but for some reason the press is making a big deal out of it this week. Maybe because its Sienna Miller and Kate Moss, not Star Jones and Rosie, but I digress...

Now I'm all for loving yourself and doing what you well please, but I gotta say, I hate sunburn on my back, I can't imagine what sun fried nipples are like. Bleh. Prancing around topless, dancing topless, celebrating Mardi Gras in proper fashion, sure. Why not, show em off before they hit your knees. But subjecting them to the sun? That's a bit cruel, don't cha think?





NYRFTW

I wanna stay inside for good...

So its that wonderful time of year again. No, not Christmas in July, but the start of my hockey countdown. Last year this time, I was too lazy to update my blog, now I'm subjecting y'all to another rant on my favorite game.

Now, the Free Agency Trading opened up a few weeks ago, which basically means it is the second best time of the year (first is the actual season). It is our time to lay out our best offers to free agents all throughout the league. Sadly, it angers me too much to discuss the Collective Bargaining Agreement, so if you really give a rats ass, just click the link. Simply put, we get to weed out all the dead weight, I'm looking at you Jagr, Malik, and so on, while gaining fresh meat. Hopefully Glen Sather pulled his head out of his ass long enough to put together a team that functions properly, you know, shooting on the proper goal (ahemBackmanahem).

Another thing, I'm sure I've written about a Gordie Howe hat trick, if not read the link. Howe deserves this title, he took hockey to a whole new level, and it is depressing to see his game go down the toilet. The reason I reference the Gordie Howe hat trick is for who has reached this accomplishment. On December 20, 2007 the world ended when Cindy, sorry Sidney Crosby, dropped his gloves and actually fought. I'm not going to link Cindy's wiki page because it does not do him justice. He's touted as "The Next One", referring to Gretzky's nickname of "The Great One". When Cindy first came up, sure, he had a shot, but his past performances have displayed his less than desirable traits. Bitching about calls not being made, refusing to get physical against the boards, and just all around being a little prick about everything is the way he plays hockey. Sure, Gretzky was hardly ever hit, but he earned that right. In his early years, Gretzky played just like everyone else. Cindy needs to realize he needs to pay his dues before cashing in on the glory of being the greatest out there. Oh yeah and that's the other thing. Dude, keep your ego in check. Just because the media loves, doesn't mean you need to go around acting like your shit don't stink. Play the game, love the game, and everyone will love you. Instead you whine and complain when opposing cities don't welcome you with open arms, rather boo you and give you less than charming nicknames. Cindy had a chance to be an awesome player, but in my book he will always be remembered as a diva who didn't deserve any of the attention.

Now that I think half of you stopped reading 2 paragraphs ago, its time to revert back to the proper sports season, baseball. What a boring sport. I like it, but I consider "watching" the game reading about it in the papers the next day, or watching the highlights on SportsCenter. But tonight is the Home Run Derby, and in true fashion, I'm reading about it, not watching it. Currently Josh Hamilton from the Texas Rangers is at bat, and apparently he's amazing, my father's words not mine. To me, the Home Run Derby is a bit boring, and baseball pants aren't even tight enough to rate their butts. I really want Grady Sizemore to win, just because I've now seen him play live twice, while I was in Cleveland, and he is quite a player (Sorry if you have no idea what I'm talking about but I'm too lazy to link baseball pages.). He's stats are average, but to me he's a clutch player, coming through when they need him the most. Now if their fielding could pull it together along with their pitching, Cleveland would have quite a nice team.

But that's besides the point... Yay hockey!! Boo baseball!!

I know I know I know its s-s-s-so symbolic of everything

So I'm sitting around listening to the awesome songs that everyone recommended, so thank you to for them. Its quite surprising what some people have suggested. There are songs that I would have never listened to, but I actually kinda like. And of course there are songs that no matter how many people rave about, I will never like (Belle and Sebastian, Thom Yorke/Radiohead).

I'm also arguing with Jeff, which isn't a surprise since we never agree on anything. This time its about Simon Pegg, I dunno. I wonder how we actually have conversations without killing each other, oh wells, still love him.

I didn't have work this weekend and I had no idea what to do. For the past 6 Saturdays I've had work, so there was no planning to do. But this Saturday, nothing, work wouldn't even let me work overtime! Who willingly turns down help when we are short handed to begin with?! Ugh, so Saturday I spent sleeping, watching movies (The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and Art School Confidential), and shoe shopping.

The dog ate my flip flop. He's such a pain, my brother leaves shoes all over the house and the dog doesn't touch em. Mine are down for thirty seconds and the strap is gone. I wouldn't have minded if they were my Old Navy ones, since there's 4 or 5 pairs floating around my room, but these were my nicer flip flops. Instead of $3.00, I plopped down $20 for them. They survived trips to farms, fairs, the beach, cross county jaunts, but couldn't stand up to a year old puppy.

For those wondering, I have three dogs. All English bulldogs, Stanley, Stewart, and Truman. Stanley is 13.5 years, Stewart is 1.25 years, and Truman is roughly 1. Stanley has been dying since he was 8, but continues to run around like nothing is wrong. Truman is Stewart's replacement. Stewart is such a sick dog, its sad but that's the way it is. And Truman is the one that ate my shoe. He is the devil in dog form. I really don't fancy him. He's a bit of a pain. We couldn't agree on a name, so his fully name is Truman Tater. He was almost Turd, but my mother over ruled that one. Oh wells, 3 dogs is quite a circus some days, but I love them all (except for Tater, who's on my shit list right now).

I think that's enough rambling for now...

Stacy's Mom has got it going on...

Sitting around eating chocolate chip cookies is fun, til those 30 minute infomercials on work out dvd start...

I've got a pocket full of sunshine...

One of my favorite columnists on my favorite website wrote this article back in 2005. Sure, he starts off talking about the NBA and how shitty it is, but he quickly moves on to how to remedy this problem. Read it if you wish, I am warning you, it is about hockey...

I've got sunshine in a bag...

My life is over. Well not really, but to me it is. To put it simply, the spring semester was a bad time for me. Somethings happened back home, and I really didn't want to go to class for two weeks, all I wanted to do was sit in bed and cry. Which, basically, I did. When I resumed going to classes, I realized I was so far behind there was no hope of me catching up. Instead of doing the logical thing and going to talk to my professors, I decided to have fun for once. Instead of staying in every night, studying and preparing for classes, I went out and had fun. I had a life outside of books for the first time ever, and it felt fantastic. I never regretted one minute of it, until I checked my transcript. It now has one W and two Fs for the spring semester. Yeah, I fucked up. I failed one of the gen ed classes that I need for my major, plus a math course (but who's really surprised that I failed math?). So for the past few weeks this has been the reason I've been so cranky and just throwing myself into work. There you go, you now know everything... Cheers!


Oh and I just realized that the song, Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz is the really awesome Sunshine In A Bag song.

Add-on: I just told my father, he's not mad, he's disappointed. Oh god the kiss of death. I am a failure to him

I will find a way...

So my kindergarten teacher is retiring, or actually retired this past June. And as a gift one of the ladies in my neighborhood bought a frame and tried to get as many of her former students a possible to sign it. Of the neighbors, I was the only one to have her, so obviously I was the first one to sign it who didn't have her this past year. Amid all this oversized scrawl, there was my signature with the year I had her. That totally freaked me out, now granted most people who read this blog are a bit older than me, but still, seeing 1995 written down makes it seem so long ago. In 13 years, so much has changed, how different will things be in 13 more years?

And you could have it all, my empire of dirt

Thank you once again to everyone that posted songs, and thank you Jon for your two cents. It was very much appreciated!

But thats the thing that weirded me out. Until everyone started commenting on that entry, I had no idea that many people knew about this silly little thing. It started out as a ranting site, whatever bugged me or confused me, I would write about it. Then it went through the typical "teenage angsty" phase. I like to think now its one giant story blog, were any random thought that I think of just gets posted here. But there's the catch, I have to now watch what I say. Because it would totally suck if I wrote **Sam is a raging bitch or **Jeff should jump off a cliff and they read it. So all in all, silly me just realized, but already obviously knew, that anyone can read this blog, especially since the link is on my Facebook...

:-)






**Disclaimer: Both of these sentences are not true, I love Sam dearly, and I might go insane if Jeff ever killed himself, by any means.

Down in a hole, losing my soul

I want to thank all of my lovely friends for all the music suggestions, I never expected to get so many. And Jon, please don't stress over the question, it was not meant to be a hard task.

My brain is totally mush. I don't have a summer, all I do is work to make money. Except what's the point of my pay checks if I'm not having fun with them? This was brought to my attention by a friend today when he found out that I don't actually go out after work or on days off. Well, to go out on days off I would have to take a day off, and I choose not to. And why do I choose not to? Besides the awesome (read: next to nothing) money I make, I really enjoy the company of one of my co-workers. He is a very interesting person, and most often I wish we were a bit more defined. Because there is nothing I would enjoy more than spending time with him outside of work. I need to stop writing about him because god forbid he reads this blog, that would just be my luck. He's seen me in a see through skirt courtesy of Mother Nature, he saw me sneeze and break the strap of my dress, its only a matter of time before I do something else embarrassing infront of him, who's to say its not this blog?

Joy to the world, all the boys and girls....

So for all three people who read my blog (Thanks Mom!), I'm putting out a request. I want to compile a list of songs that I need to have, be it because its innovative, unexpected, or just your favorite song. I feel like I'm stuck in a music rut, and suggestions are greatly appreciated.


PS Jeff, don't tell me any Stones songs, I've got most of them.... Thanks luv...

Hey Miss Murder can I...

He's baaaaaaaack!

Its much too complicated to explain the situation, but basically a friend of mine is back in my life. He had a really shitty girlfriend who wouldn't let him talk to any girls, so for 4 months, I've had no idea where he was (oh yeah he lives far away, like a plane ride away) for quite a while. This isn't the first time he's disappeared, its the 3 or 4th time. Never for the same reason either, girls, school, didn't pay his phone bill, etc. But each time this happens, I welcome him back with open arms.

Is this unhealthy? I know its just a friendship, and I'm not looking for anything more (since there are a few thousand miles in between us), but is it unhealthy to even attempt a friendship with a such a flake?

Let the drummer kick...

I'm not going to write an entry today, because I know its going to break off on to something ridiculous that I feel doesn't belong in this blog. Sorry if anyone actually gives a flying monkey...

Fuck the pain away...

Today is the type of day where I feel the need to chronicle every shitty thing that's occurred.

1st I messed up the register. I punched in the wrong information and then didn't notice it for 20 minutes. Granted its not that big of a deal, but when you're low man on the totem pole, you try to avoid as many screw ups a possible.

Then, we were severely understaffed and will be until the beginning of July. That's all fine and dandy, but its a pain to pick up the extra slack during the lunch rush. To help the boss I offered to take a late lunch, thinking he would say alright go at 12:30 or 1:00, but noooooooooo I got to wait til 2:00pm. Where I got to eat all alone in the basement. Very boring, very lonely.

As usual, during my lunch I went to go get the New York Post. Except, my car was blocked in due to parking restrictions this week. The store I like is about a quarter of a mile down, not a long walk at all. Upon purchasing my paper, the skies opened up. A torrential downpour, and me without an umbrella.

Teetering along in my stilettos, (now see through) khaki skirt, and (thankfully brown) teeshirt, I raced to get back to work as quickly as possible. In the time that it took me to get back to work, everything I owned was saturated.

Standing dripping wet in the basement, I begin to empty the contents of my bag, 6 books, a pack of gum, my wallet, and a pen, all over the table to save them from the pink dye my bag leaks every time it gets wet. I suddenly realized the absurdity of this act, since I'm still in my wet clothes.

The lady who's in the basement with me now offers a table cloth to wrap around me, instead of my see through skirt. So now, I'm dripping wet, in a (white and floral) table cloth, stilettos, and a soaking wet brown tee shirt, when who walks out of the bathroom but one of my gorgeous co-workers who also got caught in the rain, but only for a minute.

Now he's trying hard to be nice, I'm trying to dry all of my stuff off, and contemplating what to do next. Thankfully in my car is sweatpants, and my boss was forgiving enough to let me wear them for the remaining hour and a half I had left.

Take all of these paragraphs starting with the As usual one and finishing up at the comment about the boss, and all of those events fit in a 25 minute period. Yeah, leave it to me to compress shitty experiences into tiny blocks of time.

So thank you gorgeous co-worker for containing your laughter, handing me paper towels, convincing our boss to let me stay, and then keeping me cheerful for the rest of the afternoon.

I think I'll go have a pity party and eat some ice cream...

And to be compeletly honest, you're not like all the rest

Sorry to anyone that bothered reading that last post. It was tack and boring, and unnecessary, it was also deleted.

Worked 6 days this week, so there's not much to talk about.

If the US was the first country to have cars, why do Germans and Italians take driving and cars more seriously?

Why does MTV and VH1 still cling to the idea that they are music channels? Everyone knows that they are really channels that have dating shows with washed up celebrities and video yearbooks of decades passed (and still occurring now).

When did rap go from telling a story, almost poetry to music, to bragging about how much money they have along with how many bitches and hoes are in their harem?

How is it that the Rangers have a boatload of money, yet won't pay young up and comers to replace old washed up superstars (ahem, Jagr) to help boost their scoring percentage?

Why are all bandwagon fans dicks? You would think they would try to keep a low profile, but hells no! Everyone needs to know about it.

And finally,

Why am I home on a Saturday night blogging?

Call me snake...

I'm not writing today because I'm too damn tired, annoyed (with myself), and confused. Instead, I leave you with this, something my friend sent to me my sophomore year of high school. Sure its all emo-y and girly, but it is how I feel most of the time....

Ode to the Nice Girl

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Sometimes the nice girl gets sick of waiting

--Anonymous

I did it my way...

So after seeing Jon's success
with Mixwit's Mixed tape thingy, I
decided to give it a shot.
It was hard picking a topic for songs, so I
made my desert island mix.
Songs that I could listen to for all
eternity and not go insane.
Sure, there's a few missing,
Mother's Little Helper by The Rolling
Stones, Beat on the Brat by
The Ramones, and You're
So Last Summer by
Taking Back Sunday, but I
think this is a fair
representation of what I listen to.
It's a bit long, and some of the
songs are embarrassing (notice
the Fall Out Boy...), but its my
desert island mix. Not yours!
Rock out, skip songs,
I really don't care.

Brass Monkey, that funky monkey

Pants are a communist ploy.

Just nod if you can hear me...

I want to collapse into the nothingness that is your love for me.

I want the sweet embrace of your intelligence run circles around me.

Is it bad that I sit and wait to see each smile spread across your face?

It reminds me of a child on Christmas morning.

Thankfully, to you, I am nothing more then a speck of dust in this cosmic world you live in.

When I met you I said my name is Rich, you look like a girl from Abercombie and Fitch...

So I've almost survived my 3 week of work. I do have to say this, it is getting better. I'm making friends, and the people aren't so scary. This entry is going to be totally lame because I'm exhausted (yeah, its only 10, but I'm tired) and I want to get some sleep.

I'm thinking about a new screenname, the current one is boring and hard to remember. Suggestions?

My name is never was

This is in no way connected to my last post, but I feel like I am misrepresenting myself.

Do you need anybody?

I am quite bored of life right now. I am 18 and already part of corporate America. What's next for me? A house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, a minivan with a bumper sticker bragging about how smart my honor roll student is, 1.5 kids that could do no wrong (except exit my womb as a half child), and a husband who brings home the bacon so I can fry it up? None of that appeals to me. Sure, one day I'd like to settle down, but at this point why the fuck would I want to? So many of my friends are engaged, settling down, and becoming real adults. What the hell happened to embracing our independence, running free, and having fun? You're going to give that up for a mortgage, joint checking accounts, and a chance of the out dated American dream? I don't really know what brought on this rant, but I needed to say this. It makes me feel sad and pathetic that I'm so jaded at 18, but I guess that's the world we live in. Gone are the days of simplicity now we must conquer the world and then some.

God I hope I don't get sucked in....

Boom Boom Boom Boom, I want you in my room

I do not know why I am posting so many times this night, but if you are bored, stop reading. These past few weeks have really showed me who my friends are, and I may have blogged about this already, but even more has happened to prove this. I have screwed up, made a fool of myself, and just struggled through the past few weeks, but through it all I smiled thanks to everyone I talked to. To the friends that keep me up into the wee hours of the morning, I would be a train wreck without you. To the people that send me little texts throughout the day, they prevent me from going crazy at work. And the friends that are always there for me, no questions asked, there are no words to express how much I love you because of that.






Side note: My heart doesn't skip when I see you, the butterflies aren't there, my world is turned upside down.

They say it's your birthday, well it's my birthday too!

Happy Birthday Jeff!!

She's got legs, she know's how to use em

I know, I know. Sam has this on her blog but I loved it so much I felt the need to post it to mine.

Mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder

Throughly disappointed about what the song "Black Velvet" is really about. Don't bother looking it up, you probably don't know the song, it was an odd 80's song. But I thought it was so pretty and then I looked at it's wiki page and found out its about Elvis. Bleh

Been a long time since I rock and rolled

Ohio. What a state, at least I get to check it off my list of states I want to see (that list includes all 50 of them if you were wondering). This trip happened to be my first venture to the midwest, for the most part I've stuck to the east coast, and a few in the south(west) and west. The midwest is an interesting place. Our home base was Cleveland, which basically means it was where we spent most of our nights.

For some reason we all agreed that the best way to do this was to get to Ohio as quickly as possible. We stopped once in Snow Shoe, Pennsylvania and then once at a truck stop in Ohio. Let's just say this was an interesting experience. If you were so lucky to spend at least $100 on gas, you were entitled to a free shower. Yes, that's right, shower. We did spend nearly enough on gas that stop to get to partake in this reward system, however, there were plenty of people there who could easily spend that much.

Once arriving to Cleveland, after a grand total of 7.5 hours in the car, we got the genius idea to go see the Cleveland Indians play the Texas Rangers. Now I like baseball, but I like it when I can fall asleep on the couch, change channels for a bit, and, oh yeah, actually give a crap about the teams playing. None of those things were happening, so clearly I was bored at the game. Oh and it was 48 degrees that night.

The next day was our trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I want to live there. Everything on display was fascinating and throughly enjoyable. I almost fell over when I got to see David Bowie's Think White Duke costume. It was rocking. I live for music like that and to see everything I've ever dreamed about was surreal. I wish I went with people who appreciated music more, but I'll save that for another post.

Oh yeah and downtown Cleveland? Totally creepy! It looked like the set of 28 Weeks Later. No one was there. Cleveland is always billed as a city, but with a population that only reaches a half million, there's nothing going on. Rush hour on a Friday night, I was dancing in the middle of the street with one car going by every 5 minutes or so. It was so weird.

Saturday night we hopped in the car and headed an hour north to Sandusky, Ohio, home to Cedar Point amusement park. Famous for it's roller coasters! It was awesome fun, like Disney but cleaner and no characters. I managed not to get burned or tan, so I was throughly happy. That night we went swimming in Lake Erie. What a fun time that was. If I didn't know better I would have thought I was in the ocean. It was just like Wildwood, little baby waves, freezing as hell, and you couldn't see your feet. Tons of fun but a little gross after a while.


Monday, if your confused Saturday we drove to Sandusky, Sunday we went to the park, we drove south to Canton where we visited the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That place was pretty sweet. I got to see the Vince Lombardi Trophy, I don't know if it was the real one (probably not), but its the closest I'll ever get to it. The Super Bowl Rings were on display, along with tons of old stuff from Knute's time. I had fun but everyone needed forever to look at everything, while I read everything rather quickly. Some of the newer stuff I stuck on longer, but the older stuff, I already knew thanks to DeSalvo's class. It was like a giant review to me.

Monday night we headed back to Cleveland, just in time to find tickets to the Indians versus the White Sox. Monday night, my feelings were still the same about baseball as they were Friday night.

All in all it was a fun trip.

Oh one last thing, one of the nights we were in Cleveland, I forget they really all started to blend together after a while, something funny happened. We were in search of food, but everything was shut down. At like 7:30 at night, bars were closing up! Finally we found this Irish pub, well as close Irish as you can get in Ohio. We were exhausted and silence as we were being seated by the hostess, when all of a sudden we heard a voice from the table over, "Oh god, they're New Yorkers!". Now, nothing had been said to the waitress but "thank you" from my mother who has no accent. My father, brother and I all have heavy NJ accents, but we were too tired and hungry to say anything, so we couldn't have given anything away. Our clothing was plain, my brother had an Indiana University tee shirt on, my father had on a Key West tee shirt, my mother had a plain black shirt on, and I had my Ramones tee shirt on, so nothing screamed NY/NJ. I want to know how the fuck she figured it out. What, NJ/NY has a distinct smell, smile, or look of exhaustion? The best part of the story, after 2 minutes of sitting next to us, we were still silent, she demanded her bill and promptly left. Geez, I guess she can't even stand to be near people from the area.

Whatever, now that I have serious cramps in my hand from typing, I'm going to relax with the herd.

Last night in Little Rock put me in a haze

Okay, so I started my job at AAA, again and I am quite cranky because of it. It is dull, uninteresting, and I am not learning anything. I would not be so upset if I was actually making decent money, but gas attendants make more than me. It blows.

I am exhausted from doing nothing at work, or it might be because I was up all night talking to Matt. Who knows really.

I plan on writing about my trip to Ohio either tomorrow night or sometime on Saturday. The pictures may be lame, but there are a few stories to share.


Now I have to go back and remove all the contractions.

And at the city bank we will meet accidentally...

Back from Ohio, more on that tomorrow when I have more time to write all about it. But I just wanted to blog about this first.

Does love at first sight really exist? I mean people see others and might be intrigued to talk to them, but is it any deeper than visual attraction? Who knows?


Debate, comment if you want.

Anarchy in the UK

Because I don't feel like writing about what's going on in my life, I'm going to write about something, someone told me. Now, I have no idea who said it, but I do remember being to tired to argue with them. This person was making a comment about the Sex Pistols, and how they are "nothing more than a boy band put together to cash in on the punk movement in England". To that person, I say this:

The Sex Pistols may be a boy band, they might make horrible music, and not actually understand anything they are singing about, but I really don't give a damn. If you were old enough to remember most of the 90's, and all of you are, you will remember this awesome phase that Lou Pearlman brought about, the boy bands. Sure it was boy band redux, but it still was something different for us 8 year old girls to scream about. The only problem was at 8, I was consumed with Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, and Pachelbel, I was a ballerina at the time and refused to really look outside the classics. Sure, I knew of the Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, 98* and all that jazz, it was hard not to, they were akin to what Fergie is today. There was no getting around them, I just never really got into them. It was like I missed my chance at the boy band wagon. The 70's had the Sex Pistols, the 80's had New Kids On the Block, and the 90's had all those other bands, I just happened to latch on to the Sex Pistols. Honestly, would you really rather listen to pre-pubescent voices singing about "hangin' tough"? I didn't think so. Deal with the fact that I like the Sex Pistols, they are on my head phones, I don't force you to listen to them.

Good night!

Find a place where we escape

Old men have the biggest ears. Ever notice that? Next time you see an old man, not a woman, check out his ears. Pretty sure they are enormous!

Wilted and faded somewhere in hollywood...

Crawl into the darkness, amid the hopeless and forgotten.

Life comes back with a money back guarantee, with pages of fine print.

Let me sulk in my emotions, it's the only thing I know.

There's nothing like you and I

Another year has gone by, nothing has changed. I'm your best friend, your worst nightmare, your confidant, your shoulder, your cheerleader, your neigh sayer, your everything. I'm still the same person. And here I thought college meant change. I guess not.

Just for a moment I was back in school, and felt that old familar pain...

I'm a big believer in fate, just not the kind you see in movie. To me, it is the movies, and totally fake. However, today while moving back home, I witnessed first hand a cheesy, only seen in the movies type fate. Traffic on 18 was horrible, so my parents decided to cut through campus and get on to Route 1 on the other side. On our way over, my father decided to drive up Suydam Ave, right past my mother's old dorm, Jameson. As we drove by, he noticed the door was propped open and nobody was around. Stopping the car like we were in the movies, and the running across the street, my mother and I clamored to relive the best four years of her life. After wandering around the living room and basement, my mother took me upstairs to just look around. The place was fairly empty, since the dorms close 10am tomorrow, so no one seemed to mind that we were there. The build was beautiful, but it was hard to tell what anything looked like because it was just hallways. Finally we reached my mother's old room, 202. It was open. The only room in the entire building, the one we wanted to see, was open. It was the heavens wanted me to see what my mother's room was like. Sure, it was like every other dorm room, but just for a moment, my mother and I were both 18. We were giddy and happy, and life was perfect.

It was a great moment, something totally worth that half hour detour. I'm sure most of you think I'm crazy, but to me it was the world.

Every step you take

So update time:
I've seen Iron Man now twice, awesome movie.

I use to be on the weight team in high school, so when Brent informed me that I hit like a dude, I was neither shocked nor insulted.

I was studying for my Psych exam until something I read made me want to blog. And it is a quote from Freud's psychobiography of Leonardo Da Vinci "The wish to be able to fly is to be understood as nothing else than a longing for sexual performance." Which is kind of odd because I've always wanted to be Peter Pan, and have had many discussions on my love of self-flight and never growing up. All this time it was just my longing for youthful sexual performance according to Freud.

Weird.

War, children, its just a shot away

Writing in this blog is feeling like a bit of a job now. I started it back in high school, but stopped when I started working. It was a few months before I started writing again, and I only did it because I was always so bored. Fortunately now, I've gotten a life outside of my laptop and do venture out into the world.

This weekend was the CAPpies and the Cabaret Ball. The CAPpies = awesome. The Cabaret Ball = not so much. But whatever, I still had fun with Jeff, Cassie, Matt, Jon, Sam, Liz, Pat, and everyone else. Sunday was such a weird day too. Cassie Cathleen and I went to Matt's to celebrate his birthday, and to me it felt like a disaster. We all love Matt so much, and we accidentally bummed him out, instead of cheering him up.

I finally saw Nightmare Before Christmas, awesome movie.

I have one more exam before I move out of this insane freshman dorm. I'm going to miss my friend, but not those who live here.

What, what (in the butt)

I'm sorry, I took roughly 3 weeks off because I was out having a life beside that on my laptop. It was fun, saw Zipperface and Wacky Hijinks four times each. I got drunk for the second time this year, that was interesting. Oh and I saw The Effect perform on their "Bigger Than The Beatles Tour", which is only called that because they have 5 members... hahaha.

This hasn't been done in a while, so I figured I should review another movie, and this time it won't be so crappy! I saw Iron Man opening night, and that's what you get to read about if you choose to continue, if not skip down 2 paragraph's to finish this entry.....

I'm not a big comic book nerd, but I like to watch the movies, and from time to time I would pick up a copy of the comics or watch the cartoon of whatever. I hate to admit it but I've seen all the Batman movies, and the Superman movies too, but Iron Man has to be my hands down favorite comic book movie. Everything from the casting to the script was perfect.

Robert Downey, Jr. was picture perfect as this suave playboy who also happened to be a genius at math and computers. His assistant, Pepper Potts, was Gwyneth Paltrow, possibly the only movie I have ever truly liked her in. Jeff "The Dude" Bridges was Obadiah Stane, the perfect foil to Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark. I don't really want to say much more because I don't want to ruin it. Iron Man is a movie that is totally worth spending $9 to see shit explode and robots kicking ass.

Finals are coming up and I'm a bit nervous, I've favored fun adventures over going to class and studying. In between is the CAPPIES and hopefully some sleep. Although the way my life has been the past few weeks, sleep has become a pipe dream.

Mooooooo. Alright, off to study so I might be able to pass this semester...

Let's talk about all the good things, And the bad things that may be

Tonight was CAP's Stand Up Extravaganza aka a few funny people and a whole buncha shitty jokes. Sure some of them were really entertaining, but the headliner was pathetic. There's something sad about a 45 year old man, talking to a room full of college age kids about his penis and sexual adventures and failures. Talking candidly about sex isn't one of my favorite topics, listening to a guy old enough to be my father makes it even weirder. Sorry, I'm not your average college student.

Hockey playoffs are in full swing. I can't be happier.


Good bye

The Imperial Death March is stuck in my head...

The past few days I've become a bit of a bum. Out of the 5 classes I've had this week so far, I've only managed to attend one, and that's because I had an exam. The sad thing is, I didn't skip because I wanted to play in the quad or watch a movie, but I couldn't get out of bed. I've done so much sleeping these past few day, I can't be anything but sleepy. I really would like to get out of bed before 330.

In other news, apparently I am a lesbian serial killer. Let me clarify, apparently I dig women, and I also like to kill people. I'm really not sure how the term lesbian got applied to me, but according to some people, since I am left handed, I am a serial killer. Which I guess is kinda cool. Don't piss me off or I might start picking off people one by one. Hahaha I could never. I hate dead bodies too much.


Erm, tomorrow night is stand up night brought to you by CAP. I can't wait to see that. They did one in the fall and some of the comics were really fantastic. There was this one guy who was deaf in one ear, and was making jokes about interacting with him. I thought it was hilarious because I know what its like to try and talk to someone who can only hear with one ear. Most people didn't get the joke, but oh well.

Rangers won again. They lead the series 3-1 over the Devils. God I hate the Devils. They whole lot of them just need to stop playing forever, especially Brodeur. He needs to stay in his area and stop flopping around all over the ice. He keeps interfering with the game, and then gets pissed when the ref calls goalie interference on him. Its one of the few calls we get in our favor, so shut up and suck it dickface.

That is all

Hot child in the city, Running wild and looking pretty...

I'm embarrassed by my last post, but whatever, my life is a series of awkward and embarrassed moments strung together by uncomfortable laughter and hugs of reassurement.

Only a few more weeks until I move back home for the summer. I really can't wait. As boring as it is, I need a change from the work, classes, and people I see everyday. I'm not talking about my friends, I mean the boring people that I encounter in lectures.

When I return home, I will resume work at AAA. Oh the joys of working with people and their cars. No, I don't repair cars or tow them, I sign people up for the AAA services. Some people are so strange. One time I was answering the phones and the guy on the line's car broke down and needed a tow, but didn't want me to transfer his call to the right department because he liked the sound of my voice. Just a little creepy. Another time I was filling out paper work for a man who was signing up, and he asked me if I was from Europe. Now, my family is from Europe, but we've been here for a while, and nothing about me screams European. I'm a red blooded American. This guy was just being weird. A few times, I was hit on, which was creepy. I was working there and still a minor. Ugh, people are gross.


I'm slowly dying thanks to the lack of TV in my room. Normally I don't watch TV ever, but hockey playoffs are a bit important to me. There is nothing I rather do but sit down and watch a good game. To top it all off, its Rangers vs. Devils! I'm missing Rangers vs. Devils games because I was stupid and said I didn't want a TV. Ugh, great planning Cait. I got to see a bit Sunday night, and what a disappointment. Tyutin thought he was playing football and threw a Hail Mary down the ice. Brodure was a little bitch when Avery was dancing around in front of him. Jarg was the baby he always is when playing on days that end in Y. Wednesday is the next game, hopefully we can wrap this up and beat the Devils quickly.

I'm to upset to think of a song

So apparently I'm still in high school. Even though I hated all that petty shit, you people don't see me as anything different. Do you know how much that hurts? Do you know how painful that is to hear? What am I supposed to do? Start doing keg stands and caring about asinine things? I'm sorry that I refuse to lose my childhood innocence. Just remember, that as you call me childlike, I'm the one walking home with you while drunk. I'm the one who always has money to lend, a hug to give, a stupid story to tell, or a smile. What constitutes me being childish? The fact that I don't love the world? I'm sorry that I'm not the most loving person, but I'm pretty damn sure I love all of my friends equally. Do people forget that I am a freshman, that we are going to be a little immature due to the fact that we are just out of high school? Because I am, and not only that, but I'm a lot younger than most people. Not just calendar wise, but also emotionally, mentally, sexually and I'm sorry, but that's who I am. So I suffer from unrequited love, who doesn't? They have a whole section of movies dedicated to this topic, its called romantic comedy. Granted its never as amusing as the movies, but it does exist!

Was the point of your words to make me cry? To make me feel pain? To bring me down emotionally? Because congratufuckulations, you managed it. I fee like shit, I feel like a horrible human being, and I feel like there is nothing left for me to do but cry. And I hate crying!

Fuck you and you and you ..................

There's really not much to say tonight. I skipped class today to sleep, after yesterday's romp in the sun and then the elections, I was pretty tired. I went to Zipperface!!?!, again. That was funny. Sorry that the sentences are so short and cutting to the point.

Oh, a little PSA for anyone that reads this. I know that I never wear low cut tops, I really prefer my tee shirts and jeans to dresses and tank tops. Because I have powerfully persuasive friends, I decided that since the weather is nice I would change it up a bit. Sure, I got a few jokes, and a few stares, that is to be expected. But honestly, enough is enough. I'm talking to one specific person, and you know who you are, you take the groups jokes and go one step further. It is getting creepy and annoying. If you do it again, I will not only tell you to stop, but I will scream it from the top of my lungs and make sure everyone in the room sees you embarrassed, again. That is all.

You know, everyone tells me I'm a confident person, but I really don't see it. Sure, I'm friendly and I seem unshakable, but like everyone else I'm struggling. So, please don't judge me.

This does not seem like a fun blog, more of me just yelling at everyone. I wish I could think of something cute or funny to say...











PUPPIES!

Say no more, mon amour, lips for kissing, baby je t'adore!

An open letter to Facebook.

My dearest time waster,

For the past few months you have helped me expand my social horizons and stunt my human interactions in one fell swoop. While it is a bittersweet situation, I never once complain, however, "In the immortal words of The Doors, 'The time to hesitate is through."," and I there for find it necessary to complain my fair weather friend.

You see, you try hard to improve yourself, allow me to block those annoying applications like Knighthood and what not. You're also very kind and let me hide things from the Stalker Feed. But, Facebook, you do fall short in the friendship department.

The newest feature, of you searching for common links between myself and people I am not friends with is a bit annoying. Most of the time I don't know these people, and the rest of the time, I don't want to be friends with these people. There was a good reason I didn't have them as my friend already, I never want to see their sorry asses again. I went through insert approprate number here years of school with them, and didn't like them then. Why would I like them now?!

Granted, you could never guess that I do not like these people, because after all you are just a programed page, but make it go away. I don't need to find these people.

So please, Facebook, do you see where I'm coming from? I don't need more friends, I'm good the way I am, hidden from the people I never want to see again.

See you soon,
Cait


**Side note, Rangers kicked ass tonight. Let's hope we can keep our shit together long enough to win this series...

A-S-S-H-O-L-E, A-S-S-H-O-L-E, I'm an AsshoOoOoOle

So I'm at a loss of things to write about in this entry. I've pretty much locked myself away studying for my exams this week. One down, one more to go. Today's exam took 30 minutes to get to, and 10 minutes to take. That was fun. Tomorrow's exam fucks up my night because I wanted to go see Quaint Little Coffee Shop perform, but now I need to study so I can pass this damn class. I didn't get much sleep last night, but it was actually a good thing. I got to stay up to talk to Taylor which was a dream come true. There's nothing really to say about Taylor because he makes me sound all sappy and girl-y which is what I try to avoid, but he makes life good.

Tonight is the opening game of the Rangers/Devils playoff series. I really can't wait. This is my logic. The Rangers were able to beat the Devils 7 out of 8 games, and they had all their victories in the first 7. That means, they will win the first 3 games, and then they would have won the first series. Devils would go home, and I would be one step closer to happiness. Yes, my logic does not make sense, but who fucking care?! It MY blog, therefore MY logic.

Come Monday, It'll be alright...

I'm not mad or upset, or even hurt. I just wish that Facebook wasn't the one to tell me and that I didn't waste $35 in the process.

That's all for now.

Two exams and too much stress consumes me.

Keeping my eyes open, I cannot afford to sleep....

There are very few times in my life that I'm unhappy about being single, but for once i wish i just had someone that i could collapse into their arms. Being single gives me this freedom of just changing my mind or plans at the drop of a hat, and I lose that with a relationship. Sometime I just want to be a shut in, and I'd feel guilty if I was in a relationship and constantly wanted to do that. But lately, at the end of the day, all I want to do is hug someone, and while I have the greatest friends who I know are always there for me, there's something that can't be given to you through just friendship. And I hate being all emo-y. I try so hard to always smile, and even though I am frequently negative, I really do enjoy life and what is going on around me. This is so rambly and nonsensical, I give up trying to type.


I'm wrapped in yards of fabric, rather than your arms....

You can't start a fire without a spark....

I lost my post it note that reminds me to blog, so sorry for the delay all 3 of you that read my blog.

This weekend I saw Zipperface, twice, and it was hilarious. Right down to the little Hair reference at the end of the one scene. I'm so going back next weekend.

I hate Jagr, just needed to say that. No more hockey today, little pissed at the fact that they lost against the Devils, after beating them 7 other times this season.

This summer I'll be back at AAA, oh joy! Oh rapture (that should be read with heavy sarcasm)! Its a very boring job with nothing to do but bug my coworkers, not really my kind of fun.

As of last night, I have seen Empire Records 30 times in the past month. My life is sad.

This militant bitch in one of my classes, who was so pro-education that she scared the shit out of me, announced today that she was dropping out of school and going to work at her local bank branch because school was boring her. Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 18 (or maybe she's 19, I really didn't care) and not die at 36? Who knows...

Okay, now to the point of this entry. The other day in class we were discussing defining moments in people's lives. How one act, whether positive or negative, could solidify you and your entire existence. This ended up scaring the crap out of me. Let me elaborate.

The two examples given were bland and really didn't affect me much, however there are a few out there that do make me worry.

Case #1: Orenthal James "O. J." Simpson, he is known to my generation as the man that got away with murder. Who knows if he did or didn't commit those crimes, that's not the purpose of me discussing him. Prior to 1994, OJ Simpson was known for so many accomplishments. From 1969-1979, he had a remarkable career as a running back for the Buffalo Bills and the San Francisco 49ers. After Simpson's retirement, he went on to broadcasting, commercials, his own production company, acting gigs, hosting Saturday Night Live, and being part of the Naked Gun trilogy with Leslie Nealson. All of these things are now null and void. You ask any teenage who OJ Simpson is, the majority of them will respond with that guy with the white Bronco who killed his wife and friend. Now, I'm not saying he deserves sympathy, but that one act wiped his slate clear, making him remembered only for his life post-1994.

Case #2: William Joseph "Bill" Buckner, the man who helped the Red Sox continue their curse. This was the man who let a little ground ball to first base roll through his legs, allowing Mookie Wilson to get on first and a runner to score, forcing the Red Sox and Mets to go to game 7, in which the Mets defeated Boston. Every time Buckner is brought up, people cringe at his memory, but this is so inaccurate. This man's accomplishments in the game of baseball are, well, impressive:

• National League pennant: 1974
• American League pennant: 1986
• All-Star (NL): 1981
• Led National League in batting average (.324) in 1980
• Led National League in At Bats per Strikeout in 1980 (32.1), 1982 (25.3), 1985 (18.7) and 1986 (25.2)
• Led National League in Doubles in 1981 (35) and 1983 (38)
• Led National League in At Bats (657) and Singles (147) in 1982

These are just some of his accomplishments, that no one ever remembers! One little mistake of not dropping the glove low enough, and look what happens.

Case #3: Michael Joseph Jackson, The Gloved One. Sure, I can't stand his music, but you have to admit, he was very influential. He helped shape the music of the 70's, 80's and 90's. Not many musicians can say that and not even be 50. There really is not point in elaborating of what he is now famous for instead of his music. I only added him because my first two examples are sports based, and not everyone is a passionate about that topic as I am.

But the point of all this is that these men did so many things in their lives, but are now remembered, for embarrassing or incriminating actions. Who's to say we are immune to this fate? Will I be remembered at a sarcastic, negative bitch, or will I be remembered for something worse? Do I have a chance of being known for good rather than evil? It's too much stress to think about something like that, because there is nothing you can do to change it. Life is life, so many times you can't predict outcomes because there are so many other variables.

Time for sleep...

Now he's gotten out, he's gotten free, he gotta go, got a car ...

Am I missing something? I'm not saying that I am forgetting something or lacking something, what I mean is, am I missing life experiences, life chances. My mother always joked that I was born 40 years old. I don't feel the need to drink, the allure of drugs, the point of random sex with strangers, or the need to stay up all night and party.

My friends see me, ditzy and blonde with childlike views of the world. Sure I might not catch on to jokes right away, and I still believe that the world is good, but I feel so old next to my friends. And I feel so out of place. There's the need to take care of everyone, to make sure my friends are safe, and I know I can't do that if I'm out being wild.

But someone pointed out that all I do is sleep. In order for me to function, I need sleep, at least 10 hours. For me to get 10 hours, I can't be up until 5am every weekend and then sleep until 3pm every day. It doesn't work like that for me.

What I want to know is am I missing life experiences? Am I missing something by not being drunk, passing on the drugs, and keeping my legs shut? Is it possible that I've already experienced these parts of life? I mean, if I was born 40, I'm already 58. I should be close to being a grandmother, edging in on retirement, not being a woman of the night, slobbering drunk, and all high/cracked out on whatever.

Is there something I can do to correct this without compromising who I am, a 40 year old woman, trapped in an 18 year old body?

I am going, I am going, Where streams of whiskey are flowing

Watching reruns of CSI and Hey! Arnold made me remember that I have never been on a Tunnel of Love. I want to know what one is like, what is inside of one, is it really all that love-y, and what is it really all about? The only problem is having someone to ride it with. Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but I want to ride it with the one I love, since it is the Tunnel of Love and all.
Hmmm guess I need to get moving.
1.) Find a guy I love
2.) Locate carnival
3.) Ride Tunnel of Love
4.) Blog about the experience

Crawlin through the swamps and you here me moan....

My addiction with hockey has gone too far. No one specific thing has happened to make me say this, but I love it too much. Last night, the Rangers won against the Devils for the 7th time this season. To me, that's fantastic, I hate the Devils. The downside, none of my friends like hockey. Okay so there's three, but they like the Devils, so I can't celebrate this fact with them. The most unfun thing? When the Rangers win, well, ummm, I usually end up very horny. And I'm not the kind of person who just runs out and grabs the first random guy, but it is a possibility when the Rangers win. And that is not good.

In other news, the past two nights have been horribly awkward. Once again, I'm not saying any more on the topic. Sorry that I'm not in a sharing mood, but that's what happens when I get to pick and choose what ends up in a blog.


But I do have one thing to share, the new Panic! At the Disco CD. So I haven't heard much of it yet, just a few samples, so don't think I'm going to review it, but I will ramble for a bit on them. My music taste is quite random, if you haven't noticed from the titles of my entries. I like anything, including some emo-y/whiny crap. That is the category the original P!ATD CD fell under. Apparently the boys have hit puberty, grown up, lived a little and realized that a breakup isn't the end of a world. Now their music is all happy and life loving, which I think is great and I will probably end up listening to it endlessly in my car this summer. If you have a problem with this, go ahead and judge me. But music is music, its subjective. Whatever you like is fine with me, yeah even if you like country I can live with it.