Am I missing something? I'm not saying that I am forgetting something or lacking something, what I mean is, am I missing life experiences, life chances. My mother always joked that I was born 40 years old. I don't feel the need to drink, the allure of drugs, the point of random sex with strangers, or the need to stay up all night and party.
My friends see me, ditzy and blonde with childlike views of the world. Sure I might not catch on to jokes right away, and I still believe that the world is good, but I feel so old next to my friends. And I feel so out of place. There's the need to take care of everyone, to make sure my friends are safe, and I know I can't do that if I'm out being wild.
But someone pointed out that all I do is sleep. In order for me to function, I need sleep, at least 10 hours. For me to get 10 hours, I can't be up until 5am every weekend and then sleep until 3pm every day. It doesn't work like that for me.
What I want to know is am I missing life experiences? Am I missing something by not being drunk, passing on the drugs, and keeping my legs shut? Is it possible that I've already experienced these parts of life? I mean, if I was born 40, I'm already 58. I should be close to being a grandmother, edging in on retirement, not being a woman of the night, slobbering drunk, and all high/cracked out on whatever.
Is there something I can do to correct this without compromising who I am, a 40 year old woman, trapped in an 18 year old body?
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